Surprise Me
by Ash04123
Summary: Dave and John decide to get ice cream and simply hang out. However, once Dave's brother begins annoying the blond things take a turn. [JohnDave/ One-shot] [Disclaimer: Homestuck doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Andrew Hussie.]


**A quick and small one-shot I wrote for my friend for her birthday today. Happy birthday, Dani! Enjoy~**

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"Where is he?" Dave groaned to himself as he took his seat inside the ice cream parlor. The place looked nice enough, which he was grateful for considering he didn't really think ahead when planning this. It was a basic red and white patterned place. Nothing too fancy. However, this place was perfect for a first date.

Okay, well it wasn't exactly a date. He just enjoyed calling it that and pretending that it was. John surprised him when he asked to go out. Of course to John it was probably just going to be two friends hanging out in his mind. Hanging out as friends was also fine though; it wasn't like they weren't friends for years before.

Dave ran his fingers through his light blond hair. As usual he had on his shades that John gave him as a gift a few years back for his birthday. It was the only pair he would wear excluding the pair his brother gave him, but those haven't been used since he got John's pair. He was wearing his commonly used white and red shirt with a broken CD on the front along with a pair of plain black jeans. Covering most of his shirt from view was a ruby colored leather jacket. He wasn't actually sure what sneakers he had put on before rushing to the ice cream parlor, and he was too lazy to check. Whatever.

Seriously though, where was John? They agreed on two in the afternoon to meet at the parlor and it was now ten past. Ah yes, John. The boy who made his heart beat twice as fast every time he was next to the blond. The boy with the goofy front teeth that stick out when he smiles. The boy with the raven hair and gleaming blue eyes. The boy who was right in front of him.

"Hey Dave!" The cheerful teenager chimed as he took a seat across from the other. Dave blinked a few times behind his shades before silently exhaling the breath he had unknowingly been holding. It was so hard to act cool in front of John.

"Hey Egbert, you're late." Dave responded simply, nodding to the other as a greeting.

"Yeah I know! My dad was trying to convince me to stay home and bake with him. It was horrible!" John genuinely looked horrified at the thought as he began to fiddle with his shirt. He wasn't wearing anything special either, just a plain white shirt with a silly ghost on it along with same colored shorts. "Speaking of _late_, isn't it a little too_ early _into the season to be wearing a jacket?"

"I do it for ironic purposes, Egderp." Dave shook his head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Now, what kind of ice cream do you want?"

"Um, I'm honestly not sure. Surprise me!" Dave was about to protest until John flashed him a bright smile. Damn him.

"I'll be right back then." Dave internally sighed and slid out of his seat. He walked over to the counter and tilted his shades down to look around better.

"Hello there sir! What would you like today?" The person behind the counter questioned. He looked friendly enough.

"Yeah, I think I-" _Ring Ring._ His phone went off and cut him short. He grunted lowly and held a finger up to the person as a sign to excuse him. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and tapped 'talk'.

"Little man, where's the remote?" Oh great, it was Bro.

"It's up your ass, now leave me alone." Dave quickly hung up and forced his phone back into his pocket. The guy behind the counter arched his brow, but said nothing. "Sorry," Dave mumbled. "Give me a minute?" The guy nodded.

Dave turned his head to look around the glass (or whatever it was) clear structure. There was a damn rainbow in there, how was he supposed to know what John would be content with? He scanned over the many flavors and felt himself begin to grow nervous. What if he got John a bad flavor? What if he ended up ruining this date? Damn it, why did he keep calling it that?

"Sir?"

Dave snapped his gaze up and quickly apologized. "I'll have two cones. One with Cookies n' Cream and one with Strawberry." John looked like a person who would like Strawberry. Hopefully, at least.

"On it!" The guy exclaimed before going to work getting the cones. By the time the other got the cones and began heading to get the ice cream, Dave's phone rang again. He inhaled deeply before exhaling heavily. He couldn't get any peace inside the house and apparently he couldn't get any outside of it either. Once again he pulled his phone out and selected 'talk'.

"I found the remote." Bro's voice could be heard on the other line.

"I'm so fucking happy for you. Stop calling me." Dave was about to end the call.

"Wait, how is the date with your little boyfriend going?"

Dave could feel his cheeks begin to flare up. How dare he! "He is not my boyfriend." Bro was going to pay for this when he got home. Dave was going to be the one to challenge him to a strife on the roof this time. No mercy. "Fuck off." With that Dave ended the call and slipped his phone away once more.

"Alright sir, that will be about five dollars!" The man said while handing Dave both cones. Damn, five bucks? What a rip-off! Dave sighed to himself before nodding.

"I'll be right back, let me just go give these to my friend to hold." Dave took his time walking back to John. Seriously five bucks for ice cream was just plain annoying to him. "Egbert, hold these I have to pay. I hope you like it because this shit was expensive."

"Language Dave," John chuckled but retrieved both cones.

"Don't even give me that, you curse just as much as me. You just don't seem like the guy to do so." Dave flipped him off (as only the best of bros do to each other) before striding away. As fast as he possibly could in order to just sit down and eat him damn ice cream already, he paid the man. On his trip back to the table his phone began to ring _again._

This man was going to die. This time he chose to ignore it and take his seat. As he did the ringing stopped and he quickly pulled his phone out, only to set it to vibrate. Finally he sighed in relief and leaned back in his cushioned seat.

"Wow, you look exhausted! Gee Dave, all you did was get ice cream. This proves you have to lay off the junk you're always eating!" John was happily licking at his own cone while passing Dave's to him. "It's amazing really how you're still so in shape!"

_If you blush, I will kill you. _Dave chanted to himself over and over again as he took his ice cream from John. He decided it was best not to respond although John did give him a weird look when he didn't. Was he expecting him to? Shit, did he fuck up?

The two sat in silence for awhile before Dave took the risk of speaking. "Have you spoken to Jade or Rose lately? I tried getting a hold on both of them this morning, but got no reply on Pesterchum."

"Oh! Don't you remember? They're on a cruise, or something. I don't really remember." John was already down to his cone and nibbling on it. _He's so fucking cute._

"Basically doing something we wouldn't be bothered with doing ourselves?" Dave responded, taking his sweet time licking his own cone.

"Exactly!" John giggled and just then Dave swore he heard the cutest sound in the world. He could feel his heart beginning to thump at a fast pace and he worried it was so loud that John was going to hear it. He tried inhaling through his nose as quietly as possible, but it must not have been as quiet as he wished because John was giving him a quizzical expression.

"Sorry, pollution." _Holy shit, I'm as smooth as Bro with this whole dating thing. As in, I suck. Wait, this isn't a date damn it!_

"Um, right." Another awkward silence filled them as John finished eating his cone. Dave kept his eyes down to the table and tried desperately to think of something to break the tension. Unfortunately the only thing that happened was the vibration of his phone against his leg. His lip curled up in slight anger, but he pushed the feeling down and stupidly decided to answer it. It's not like he had anything to say to John at the moment anyway.

"Have you kissed him yet?" Bro's voice once again rang in his ear. Dave nearly spit out the cookie pieces in his mouth.

"Dude!" The blond was only able to respond with that since his mind was too busy thinking of ways to murder his brother. "Stop calling me!" Dave reached and hopefully for the final time tapped 'end'.

"Look little man, I know you don't want to hear this from me right now, but you're being a wimp." _Oh sweet honey icy typhoon this isn't happening right now. One, I didn't just think that instead of just thinking shit, and two, I didn't just hit speaker._ In the panic of it all he didn't think to actually end the call there. "I see the way you look at John. Just ask the kid out already."

How many years would he be put into jail for murder? Oh who is he kidding he couldn't survive jail. He has blond hair and red eyes, he'll be someone's bitch by the first day. Maybe if he hid the body nobody would find out.

"Dave?" Bro called out, only to meet his fate with the 'end' button.

He had to get out of there. He didn't dare gaze at John right then. This was the most embarrassing thing to happen of all embarrassing things ever. His face was going to be put in the dictionary next to the word embarrassed. Next time the word embarrassed popped up it was going to be followed by, "That blond kid."

"Dave?" Another voice said this time. Dave didn't realize he was biting his lower lip until he tilted his head up and saw the concerned look on John's face. _He wasn't mad? _"Is what he said true?"

Great, the spotlight was on him now. He could feel like everyone in the ice cream parlor was currently burning their eyes into him. They were probably expecting an answer. John was expecting an answer. Could he lie? No, that would only make things worse. There was no escaping this situation now. He had to stand up and be a man.

"Maybe," Dave replied and trailed his eyes back down to the table. So much for being a "man".

"Oh Dave that's so freaking cute!" John replied, much to Dave's dismay.

"Yeah I know, but you're not a homosexual right?" Dave responded bitterly. Silence crept onto them for a moment before John giggled. Dave's heart was beating fast once again and he wasn't sure if it was from the situation he was currently in, or from hearing that adorable giggle again.

"I say that for ironic purposes." Dave blinked a few times before trailing his eyes upward to John's face. He stared into them for a few seconds before coming to the conclusion that John wasn't lying.

"So what are you saying?" Dave's leg was jittering and bouncing up and down under the table.

"I'm saying this was a nice first date." John flashed him another brilliant smile before standing up and leaning over the table. Dave remained frozen as John pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before turning around and walking away.

"I'll talk to you later, Dave!"

Dave could just about melt into a puddle of emotion (much like his ice cream did by then). He smiled that smile only the raven haired boy could bring to his face and shook his head. If he was dreaming, he didn't want to wake up.

He stood up himself and walked over to the trash can, dumping the rest of his cone into the garbage.

It was so worth the five bucks.


End file.
